RMSGE ` 03

Chapter – 03

Sasaui Kaoru’s Heartbreak

★Side: Sasaui Kaoru

“Huh? Why…”

After school today, I had promised to walk home with my childhood friend, Shin. So, after delivering the handouts I was asked to by the teacher, I hurried back to the classroom. But just as I was about to enter the classroom, Shin came out from the opposite door. And he was with our classmate, Hiroshiki Kirara-san…

And the two of them walked down the hallway without even noticing me.

For some reason, Shin and Kirara-san had become really close right from the start of high school. Even when I asked Shin what had happened, he only told me they just happened to become friends.

Lately, it felt like he spent more time with Kirara-san than with me… And the expression Shin made when he talked to her…

“Shin… weren’t we going home together…”

No… maybe he’s planning to wait for me at the school gate. Deciding to think that, I held back my tears, grabbed my bag, and headed for the gate.

◆

—I changed my shoes and left the entrance.

“Shin is…”

When I looked for Shin, he was no longer at the entrance. I hurried towards the school gate.

“…”

What I saw there was Shin’s back as he walked out of the gate together with Kirara-san.

“Why… why…”

My heart ached terribly at being left behind. Seeing Shin break our promise and go home with Kirara-san made me incredibly sad.

If only he’d at least contacted me… It would still be sad, but I wish he’d done at least that much…

“Sniff…”

I was already about to cry, but I managed to hold it in since we were still on school grounds and there were many people around.

After that, I walked.

Our routes home were the same, so I could see the two of them ahead…

You might think I should take a different path, but I couldn’t—I was too fixated on them.

We were far enough apart that I couldn’t hear their conversation, but Kirara-san was patting Shin on the back—they seemed really close… And Shin looked so happy too…

My eyes were welling up with tears.

I know myself—I have a weak heart. I’ve always wanted to change that personality, but it never worked out. That’s why seeing him break our promise and look so happy with another girl made me unbearably sad, and I couldn’t hold back my tears.

That’s when it happened—they stopped, and the distance between us shortened, so I panicked and hurriedly hid behind something.

“Shin, do you have a girlfriend?”

“No, I don’t…”

“Then, is there someone you like?”

“N-no, there isn’t.”

“I see~ But you and Kaoru-chan are childhood friends, right? Don’t you like her?”

My heart pounded when I heard that. What did Shin think…?

“N-no… Kaoru’s just a childhood friend…”

“But Kaoru-chan is really cute, isn’t she? And yet?”

“Th-that’s right… Besides, there’s no way I could see someone I’ve known since we were kids as a romantic interest… Kaoru’s childish in a lot of ways, and she can be a handful sometimes. There’s no way I could fall for her.”

“Really? That’s surprising.”

After that exchange, they started walking again. And Shin’s final words left a deep wound in my heart.

“Wh-why…”

And then they linked arms. From what I could see, Shin was the one who initiated it…

The moment I saw that, I slumped to the ground. After that, I just cried, not looking in their direction anymore. Shin likes Kirara-san… That’s all I could think as I cried.

And then, I was taken by Ougou Kaito-kun, who happened to be nearby.

There were a lot of bad rumors about him. I was scared too, but I couldn’t refuse his assertiveness and ended up following him. Besides, my mind wasn’t working properly because of Shin…

His house was large and empty. Even though I thought this was bad, I couldn’t bring myself to say I wanted to leave.

Contrary to my fears, he was kinder than I expected… He listened to me and comforted me. Honestly, I was deeply hurt that Shin had chosen Kirara-san over me. If he hadn’t been there, I probably would have cried in that spot forever.

After a while, I was pushed down. I understood what was about to happen…

At that moment, I thought… Kirara-san is the type to really push forward, isn’t she? Maybe Shin, right about now, is…

Thinking that, I felt like maybe this was okay…

I might regret it tomorrow… But my heart ached enough, I was sad enough, and pained enough to feel that way. Maybe a normal girl wouldn’t feel this way. Is it really because my heart is so weak…?

And so, I gave my first time to him…

◆

—The next day, when I woke up, Kaito-kun was already awake.

When I looked at Kaito-kun, he was naked… Actually, I was naked too. Remembering yesterday, I was incredibly embarrassed and covered my chest and crotch with my hands as I greeted him. But I was surprisingly calm.

“Good morning…”

“Wha—!?”

Just as I managed to greet him, despite feeling like I was dying of embarrassment, Kaito-kun gave a strange reaction. I didn’t quite understand, but for some reason, he looked extremely surprised.

Then, I happened to glance down and saw that Kaito-kun’s thing had gotten really big. Something that big was inside me yesterday…

More than that, it had gotten even bigger. Thinking that, I muttered:

“It’s gotten bigger again…”

Saying that made me incredibly embarrassed. Maybe Kaito-kun was going to…

Yesterday, I was just out of it too; I couldn’t afford to make another mistake. Thinking it was bad, I hurriedly spoke, despite my embarrassment:

“Sorry… yesterday was my first time too, so I might not be up for it right now…”

Even after I said that, there was no reply…

When I looked up a moment later, Kaito-kun had a troubled expression. Honestly, I couldn’t believe Kaito-kun was the person the rumors made him out to be, but if they were true, I was a little scared he might push me down no matter what I said now. But he didn’t seem like that at all.

“What’s wrong, Kaito-kun?”

“…”

When I asked, Kaito-kun clutched his stomach and crouched down.

“Nah, just a bit of a stomach ache… I’m gonna go to the bathroom.”

“Okay. See you later.”

Was his stomach really hurting? I thought so, but I was relieved he didn’t push me down and started getting dressed.

“Sigh… I really did it…”

Honestly, right now I feel really strange…

I wasn’t in my right mind yesterday. I knew about Kaito-kun’s reputation. No… the real Kaito-kun wasn’t as bad as the rumors. I mean, I could have refused yesterday—it definitely wasn’t forced. He comforted me so gently the whole time, too…

“Still, it felt like that…”

It was my first time, so it hurt a lot at first… but towards the end…

Remembering yesterday, I felt my face grow hot.

“Sigh…”

But I’d always believed my first time would be with Shin…

If I say I regret it, I do. But I don’t resent Kaito-kun for it… it was because my heart was weak.

On the contrary, Kaito-kun was a good person, and my opinion of him has definitely improved. If Kaito-kun hadn’t been there, I’d probably be crying at home right now.

But still, I love Shin… That hasn’t changed. So I absolutely can’t make another mistake. I need to talk to Shin properly…

—After that, Kaito-kun returned.

“Welcome back…”

When I said that, I got an unexpected reply.

“Are you okay? It was your first time, and I might have pushed you too hard.”

“Yeah… It hurt at first, but you were gentle, and towards the end it felt good, so…”

Kaito-kun looked concerned as he said that. He really is different from the rumors. That’s why I don’t have any negative feelings towards him right now… Maybe it’s just that so much has happened that my senses are all messed up, but I don’t know.

That’s what I thought, so I told him the truth… but it’s still embarrassing…

“Then I’m glad… Can you move now?”

“I still feel a bit off, so I think I’ll be fine in a little while…”

Honestly, I don’t know how to describe it properly, but that’s how it feels.

“Still embarrassed?”

“Y-yes…”

“I see. Then let’s talk a little longer.”

“Okay…”

Saying that, Kaito-kun sat down right next to me.