Chapter 08
Liang Yuxuan let out a soft sigh, pressing the back of her hand against her burning forehead.
“The scandal has been raging all over the place for two full days, and his grand plan is to just leave you to read the news and do your own reading comprehension? Or does he absolutely insist on waiting for you to swallow your pride and ask him in a humble, subservient tone? Look at that self-righteous virtue of his. Even if you asked him, there’s no way he’d explain it properly. He’d probably just smirk smugly and throw a line like: ‘You actually believe this kind of gossip? Do you really like me that much?'” Xiao Jie mimicked him flawlessly.
“Thank goodness you showed some backbone and didn’t waste your breath on him. Even if this man didn’t physically cheat on you, he’s still garbage. Don’t go thinking itâs just a personality flaw; the fact that he treats you like this proves that from the bottom of his heart, he doesn’t respect you at all. Did he ever truly consider you his girlfriend?”
This question struck right at the bullseye, instantly snapping the taut, strained chord inside Liang Yuxuan’s head with a resonant buzz.
If not a girlfriend, then what was she?
Amid the echoing vibrations in her mind, Liang Yuxuan recalled the beginning of her relationship with Bian Xu.
They had met in December of the previous year.
The deep winter in Jiangnan brought continuous, chilly rain. One evening, after a home-venue performance concluded, a high-ranking official from the dance troupe came to the dressing room to tell her that someone wanted to see her.
That was something that happened occasionallyâa prominent figure from the theater’s VIP stalls would request to see a specific performer after a show. Usually, it was either a talent-scouting attempt or that bit of romantic ambiguity between a man and a woman.
Liang Yuxuan had encountered this before, but she had never accepted such invitations.
Yet, before she could refuse that time, she heard Bian Xuâs name from the official’s mouth: “When Mr. Bian Xu held a concert in Nanhuai a few years ago, he had a collaboration with the South Ballet. But back then, you had just joined the troupe, so you might not have any memory of it.”
It was exactly this sentence that caused her to zone out for a long time. It was what made her say a trembling “Okay” after a protracted silence.
Hearing that Bian Xu was already waiting for her, she ran hurriedly back to the stage without even having time to change out of her performance costume.
The theater lights were completely extinguished, save for a single spotlight focused on the stage. Bian Xu sat in the dim audience seating with his eyes closed to rest his mind, his long legs crossed in a casual and relaxed posture.
Hearing her footsteps, he opened his eyes and gazed at her under the light. “You’re here.”
She nodded, unsure of how best to address him. He, however, seemed to have no intention of exchanging names and got straight to the point: “Dance that solo section you just performed again.”
She didn’t dare to ask too much about the reason, so she gave him a private performance just like that. She was far more nervous than during a standard stage performance, even missing a beat in her steps.
Afterward, she received an extra performance fee and also learned the truth: at that time, he was composing a ballet piece and needed to draw creative inspiration from a ballet dancer.
After that night, whenever he needed her, she would keep the appointment.
At first, it was at the theater, but later, due to venue conflicts, it was shifted to his residence, evolving into a nightly routine.
He said that watching her dance was strictly just watching. Let alone physical contact, they barely exchanged a few words. He would either lean lazily on the sofa or rest against the piano with a glass of red wine. Sometimes his gaze was naked and direct; other times, his mind would wander.
As for her, she tried her hardest to dance without any distractions, deeply terrified that making a mistake would mean losing this “job.”
But a job always has a day when it ends.
On the night the piece was fully written, Bian Xu settled her payment and told her she didn’t need to come back anymore.
The muse had completed her mission, gaining both beautiful memories and a handsome sum of money; the story ending there could be considered quite perfect.
Yet, her mind became entirely possessed. On the very next evening, she unconsciously walked back to the base of that skyscraper.
She paced around in the night rain. Her rationality told her she should turn around and go home, but the thought that leaving meant she would never cross paths with that unattainable person again made her loath to depart.
In the very beginning, she didn’t know why Bian Xu had chosen her out of so many ballet dancers.
But she knew very clearly why she had agreed to his invitationsâ
Several years ago, when that young and highly successful pianist stepped into the South Ballet’s theater under the guise of a collaboration, she had stood deep within the dense ranks of the corps de ballet, gazing at him from afar.
He wore a black swallow-tailed evening tuxedo and a hand-tied white bow tie, his figure as upright as a pine tree. When he sat upon the piano bench and his ten fingers fell upon the black and white keys, his entire being looked as though it were enveloped by ten thousand rays of brilliant light.
No one knew that at the age of seventeen, she had fallen in love at first sight with a man three years her senior.
He was the brilliantly talented favored son of heaven in people’s mouths, and the unattainable moon in the sky in her eyes.
In the years that followed, she advanced from the corps de ballet to a lead dancer, and finally to a principal solo dancer, yet she still could not catch up to the moonâhe had long since flown far away with his music, retreating behind the scenes, no longer making public appearances, and no longer performing for anyone.
Therefore, she knew that night was her absolute last chance.
The wind howled furiously and the cold rain poured down in torrents. Amid her pacing, a wild and reckless notion surfaced in her mind.
Standing before the intercom system, she dialed a video call to Bian Xu just as she usually did.
Bian Xuâs voice came through the speaker, stating that things seemed to have already concluded the previous night.
Suppressing the surging anxiety in her heart, she claimed she had grown accustomed to coming over every night and had muddled up, forgetting the fact.
After a few seconds of silence, the glass doors in front of her slid open smoothly. Bian Xu said, “Come on up.”
Perhaps the cold rain had soaked through her clothing, making her look disheveled and pitiful; he lent her his bathroom, lent her his shirt, and lent her his bed.
Everyone around her evaluated her character as gentle and conventional, yet only she herself knew that she wasn’t truly that submissive.
During those tedious years of practicing ballet day after day for a decade, a hard, sharp edge had grown in the depths of her heart. It would cause her, at certain moments, to breed bold, non-conformist, and rebellious thoughts.
Sometimes, she would even terrify herself.
She had always carefully locked away that rampaging beast. But that night, when she finished drying her clothes and heard Bian Xu ask if he should arrange a car to take her home, that beast could no longer be kept under lock and key.
Rationality, reserve, proprietyâshe wanted none of it anymore.
After a long silence, she lifted her head and asked, “Can I not go back?”
He raised his brow, lowering his eyes to size her up for a moment before asking in a near-statement, “Are you sure?”
She then stood on the tips of her toes, wearing his shirt, and kissed him.
Outside the window, the wind rushed and the rain beat down heavily; inside the bedroom, a turbulent wave of heat turned over.
At the final, crucial moment, she felt she needed to confirm something. Dizzy and light-headed, she asked, “Why me?”
