Chapter 09
He looked down at her. “Ask it.”
Who? Before she could wrap her mind around it, her waist was propped upward by that pair of hands with distinct, elegant knuckles, and he entered her just like that.
She lost herself for a split second, and in that same split second, she understood.
Men were probably naturally adept at dodging the main issue at such critical junctures. She completely forgot what it was she actually wanted to ask.
It was a night of indulged passion, leaving the entire apartment in a complete mess.
She slept in for the first time in her memory, breaking her usual self-discipline. By the time the sun was high in the sky, a new round of wild indulgence began.
Over the two days of the weekend, Bian Xu never mentioned an end, and she never spoke of leaving.
The bathtub, the kitchen, the living room, the audiovisual room, the terraceāshe experienced every single corner of that apartment. It wasn’t until she woke up on Monday morning and saw the empty space beside her pillow that she finally extracted herself from the intoxicating spell, beginning to contemplate their relationship and where they should go from here.
Her mind in a state of chaos, she walked out of the bedroom, only to immediately spot Bian Xu laughing and joking with a young man out on the balcony.
Realizing that the buttons on her shirt weren’t even fully done up, she hurriedly turned her back.
That sharp-eyed man instantly teased: “Oh, well that’s a rare sight. A girlfriend?”
For her at that time, this was an extremely sensitive question, causing her turning movement to pause for a brief moment.
It was during that exact moment that she directed her gaze toward Bian Xu, who was leaning against the window sill.
Meeting her eyes, he bit his cigarette and raised an eyebrow with a smirk: “Otherwise?”
The words were spoken to answer the other person, yet his eyes were fixed on her.
The golden morning sunlight fell all over his shoulders, making that scene appear incomparably brilliant yet incomparably illusory.
…
That was the promise Liang Yuxuan had received.
It was the first and only time Bian Xu had personally confirmed her relationship with him.
But now, eight months later, as she looked back after this relationship had become riddled with blemishes, that ironclad answer had grown blurry instead.
When a man acknowledges a woman’s status under that kind of context, is he definitely speaking the truth?
It might have just been a fig leaf to save face in front of others.
They didn’t celebrate Valentine’s Day, they didn’t count anniversaries, they rarely went out on dates, and they had never spoken of love anywhere outside of the bed.
Compared to a boyfriend and girlfriend, they resembled lovers who only existed inside the apartment.
Otherwise, Xiao Jie wouldn’t have instantly seen through it as a clear-minded bystander just from that phone call earlierā
A girlfriend requires loyalty, but a lover does not necessarily.
So Bian Xu had never thought about explaining the scandal from start to finish.
She had thought the worst possible outcome was the appearance of a third person between them.
As it turned out, what was even worse than that was the relationship she had so carefully maintained was nothing more than a fragile bubble that would shatter at a mere touch.
Just like how the initial meeting he considered entirely ordinary was actually a reunion she had dreamed of for years; between them, it was never equal from the very beginning.
Accompanied by Xiao Jie, Liang Yuxuan went to the hospital to get X-rays and was put on an IV drip. By the time they returned, it was already night.
The fever had subsided for the time being, but her Achilles tendinitis had been flaring up repeatedly over the past year; it wasn’t something that could be rooted out in three to five days.
The doctor said this acute phase could last for several weeks, and how long it would take to ease depended on the physical therapy. In the short term, let alone performing, even basic training had to be suspended. Otherwise, once conservative treatment failed, the next step would be surgery, and the recovery period then would be even longer.
“You people in the sports and arts industries really rely on your youth to do whatever you want. Go count how many athletes and dancers have had their Achilles tendons snap right on stage, ruining their careers just like that?” The old specialist exhorted earnestly at the hospital.
Xiao Jie listened with a pounding heart, but Liang Yuxuan remained calm instead. After all, she knew her own body best; she had already prepared herself mentally before returning to China.
Besides, injuring muscles and bones was practically a regular occurrence in this industry. Resting for a few weeks wouldn’t cause the sky to fall. Fortunately, the end of the tour just happened to coincide with a gap period, so it wouldn’t delay too many matters.
Upon returning to the apartment, Liang Yuxuan reported the situation to Qin He over WeChat.
At nine o’clock in the evening, she received a voice call back from Qin He while in bed.
Qin He nagged a whole bunch, saying she would apply for sick leave for her on Monday, telling her to rest well, and that she didn’t need to report to the dance center next week.
Liang Yuxuan agreed to each point one by one. Finally, she heard Qin He bring up the morning’s topic again: “Since you can’t take the stage during this period anyway, you can give some consideration to that variety show.”
“My foot can’t record a dance show recently…”
“I’m not asking you to take on a dance variety show. Do you still think you haven’t pushed yourself hard enough? I’m asking you to go make friends,” Qin He explained with a laugh.
It took Liang Yuxuan a moment of thought to grasp Qin He’s meaning: “To go on a variety show to date?”
“How are you more out of touch with trends than I am, child? Itās a type of romance and social reality show. If you happen to meet someone you fancy on the program, you can date; if you don’t meet anyone, there’s no forcing it. It enriches your social life while accumulating connections and fame, and you can still work normally during the process. It’s a matter with a hundred benefits and not a single harm!”
“But right now I…” The phrase “am not single” reached the tip of her tongue, yet Liang Yuxuan lacked any confidence. She gripped the corner of her quilt. “Teacher Qin, let me consider it. Can I give you an answer next week?”
“Alright, opportunities like this are rare. Do it as early as possible!”
After hanging up the call, Liang Yuxuan stared blankly at her phone screen, which showed no missed calls or unread messages, for a short while before taking out her diary from the nightstand drawer.
The notebook, which she had used for four years, already had pages that were slightly yellowing.
Back when she was seventeen or eighteen, she would write something in it every day. The more she grew up, the less she wrote, only putting pen to paper when her mood was exceptionally good or exceptionally bad. The diary had become more of a medium for reviewing the past.
Liang Yuxuan was not good at making decisions involving a clean break. In the past when she was in a dilemma, her maternal grandmother had told her: When you do something, if the times you feel sad outnumber the times you feel happy, then you shouldn’t continue doing it anymore.
Then, she would open her diary to see how many times she had been happy for this matter, and how many times she had been sad.
Liang Yuxuan slowly opened the notebook, looking through the pages one by one starting from last December. She drew tally marks stroke by stroke, finally calculating a ratio of 19:6.
It turned out that during the days she spent together with Bian Xu, happiness only accounted for 6 out of 25 parts.
Liang Yuxuan felt a sudden urge to laugh, but she suddenly felt a wave of heat on her cheek. Reaching up to touch it, she felt a patch of wetness.
Three days later in the morning, after her fever had completely broken, Liang Yuxuan immediately pulled her suitcase and headed straight to Lanchen Tianfu.
